Today’s Person is The Knitter (lana lanae). You might expect her (and she is always female) to be old, but instead she is young, wielding an iPhone 4s, and she wears reading glasses in bright frame colors. She can be found on the edge of her seat, needles slowly and clumsily attempting to construct… Something. Nobody knows what it is. It is typically the size of a postcard, except it is not straight, and it is colored vomit brown. Nobody has seen her start a knit, and nobody has seen her make anything of any size or utility. Perhaps she is knitting ironically? In any case, she never wears anything made of wool.